My hijab is longer, I am better…

I started wearing my jilbab in my final year in University, it was a clothing I had admired for so long, but was eventually able to wear in my final year. Even though I was a *jilbabee* in Uni, I really wasn’t close to other jilbab sisters bacause there were very few gathering of sisters. The Hostel mosques were all closed, so there was really no avenue to meet and interact with other sisters, except for a few “salams” I exchanged on my way to and from lectures...

For some sisters I met, Subhanallah, I was shocked at the hate they spewed! These sisters literally, like literally CURSE sisters who are not putting on the jilbab, they say hateful words, refuse to give Salam, and all they seem to talk about is other sisters’ hijab length, breadth and height, and that was very very shocking! These sisters would mock other sisters who were trying to wrap their hijab after salah, they would call themselves the “non-hijab-pin” ummah.. After all, if you need to pin it down, it’s not a hijab!!!

There were so many rules attached to wearing a jilbab… You can’t wear a jacket on your jilbab, because it makes you “attractive”, so you have to marry the cold, no matter what! You can’t add a scarf as an accessory, because it is too “fine”, even the “egyptian jilbab” is not the best, because it’s just too “stylish”…The rules never end, so much difficulty and so much “textbooky” practices. And of course, it’s the brothers who have never worn a jilbab that give these fatwas, and the beloved sisters take it in good faith!!!

Most of these sisters that spew so much hate, are not jilbabee from birth, they chose the jilbab, and one way or the other, they seem to be deluded from the fact that they were once the “non-jilbabee”…

Wearing a jilbab was a very personal choice for me, it was convenient, it made me feel at peace, and it removed the excessive need to “look good”…I was a full-time jilbabee (whatever that means…lol) for a little less than 2 years, and I loved it! Anyone who has worn a jilbab would know it’s very very comfortable! You don’t have to worry about “what to wear”, you can wear anything (not *anything*, but you get the gist)as your inner clothing, and you don’t have wardrobe malfunctions (for the most part)…It’s a very simple and elegant and flowy attire!

I am no longer a full-time jilbabee because it’s not practical for me anymore. I am a PhD chemistry candidate, and lots and lots of laboratory work goes into that, and in a bid to avoid lab hazards, I had to not wear the jilbab when working. Also, weather!!! In Nigeria, you could literally wear just the jilbab all year long, with no stress, but extreme weather conditions in the states wouldn’t allow that…

In the extreme winter months, layering too much raises the edges of my jilbab, and that sometimes exposes my feet, even with socks, it’s just so uncomfortable… Also, the risk of showing my arms when trying to remove my jacket (say, in class for example) is just too much to bear. So, I had to make the choice to preserve my modesty to the best of my ability, and prevent myself from lab hazards…and that’s on “tying my camel”…

It was also a matter of safety, I have been harrassed a few times both in my jilbab and hijab, but my jilbab seemed to draw a lot of negative attention. Unfortunately, in the states, muslim girls get killed for wearing the hijab. Not that they necessarily know the difference between a hijab and a jilbab, but a hijab drew less attention…in my opinion.

Is the Jilbab the best covering I would ever wear? Oh yes, it is! I sacrificed a litttle too much to make this my identity, but my Rabb is the best of planners, and for everything I “lost”, he gave me so much more…in folds…

The jilbab is a beautiful clothing, but should we be hateful to sisters who have decided not to wear it for any reason? If we keep being spiteful of the “non-jilbabee-sisters”, shouldn’t that make us reflect on our own “why’s” for the jilbab? Are we even happy wearing it, or does it feel so much like a burden that we’re angry at other sisters for “living the life”…?

Dear sisters, modesty is an intrinsic part of our faith, jilbab or not, for the most part, we all know the basic rules of modesty… I pray Allah ease our tasks and make our hearts filled with so much love and happiness, that we concentrate on our own personal journeys with Allah, and never ever HATE other sisters for the length, breadth and height of their hijabs…Salam 🤎